


To make a month last a year

by MusicalDefiance



Series: Pegoryu Week 2018 [3]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: :3c, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I hope everyone likes it, Longing, M/M, Mostly feel good stuffs, but definitely a touch of the sads, i'm actually pretty proud of this, the day i stop accidentally putting the wrong pairing on my fics is the day i die, with a little sprinkle of heavily implied redacted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 14:09:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15196448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalDefiance/pseuds/MusicalDefiance
Summary: "He’s trying to hold it together, trying to make sure that he doesn’t show Akira that he’s this broken up about him leaving, but he can’t help it. He doesn’t want Akira to leave, doesn’t want the best thing that's ever happened to him in his life to be so far away from him. His hometown is miles from here. It won’t be the same as being ten minutes away by train; now he’ll have to travel much farther, ride trains for hours with plenty of transfers and stops, only to be able to see Akira for probably only one weekend a month before he has to leave again.Tokyo will never be the same without Akira Kurusu within its imposing walls."Day 6: Confession/Longing





	To make a month last a year

**Author's Note:**

> If you try to tell me I can't write up a fic the day it's due I'm gunna shove this in your face and scream "HA!" *yeets self into sun*

On the first day, Akira is tired.

It’s expected and he should be, considering everything he’s just been through. His skin is tighter and see-through, eyes dimmer than they were two months ago when everything was supposed to have ended. They look through his glasses with no true sense of intent or direction, something that’s lacking from how he looked before he left, but maybe that’s okay.

What’s important right now is that he’s back, and he’s surrounded by his friends. He’s surrounded by his _family_. And most importantly, he thinks, he’s surrounded by Ryuji.

He doesn’t want to push him too hard tonight, doesn’t want to overstep his bounds and exhaust Akira more than he already has, but he’s just so _goddamn happy_ to have him back. Two entire months of fighting and yearning just to have another moment where he can hold him in his arms, kiss his temples, and have him whine when he doesn’t give him the satisfaction of letting him roam around the room like he wants to do. Ryuji isn’t having it, he’s tired and needs sleep in a real bed instead of something hard and metal. He makes him put on his pajamas and crawl into bed, and all the while Akira groans and protests like a four year old.

The battle is for naught. Akira may not like it, but Ryuji’s right, because the second he hits the futon, the weight of Ryuji’s arms held tightly against his waist, he’s out like a light. Ryuji gets to relish in watching him take breath after breath and has no plans to sleep on his own any time soon. His only intent is watching Akira and knowing that he’s safe and right where he belongs.

 

On the second day, they celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Ryuji’s had it planned for months, especially since Akira was incarcerated. He’d spent all night making these chocolates with the help of his mom two nights ago, and the wrapping was far from the best but he’d done all he could. It almost felt embarrassing handing them off in the state that they were in, but he was still determined to give him _something_. It’s the least he can do considering everything Akira’s ever done for him.

When he slides it across the table, the dimmed lights in LeBlanc giving the wrapping an orange glow, Akira’s eyes are wide and full of surprise. Ryuji’s trying to hide his face away and sink into the booth as he unwraps it, but Akira’s laughing and complimenting him, and that’s only making the color across his face show even worse than it was already.

When Akira takes a bite from the first piece, Ryuji’s watching with bated breath. When he smiles it’s a relieving sight, but that relief fades almost instantly when tears fall from Akira’s quiet closed eyes and Ryuji jumps across the table to comfort him.

He’s just so happy to be back he says, but he feels awful that he doesn’t have anything to give him too. Ryuji assures him that he’s everything he could possibly want or need.

 

On day four, they go out for a run.

It’s a joyous experience, just to be able to feel free and run without the world on their coattails and no rumbling at their feet. Ryuji worries over Akira, unsure if he’s in the best condition to do such a thing considering where he’s been the last few months, but Akira pushes for it. He wants to feel the freedom he’s been denied, and who is Ryuji to deny him that request?

They go to the park, and they bolt across hills, grass, and sidewalks. They mind their manners when passing by others, and act reckless when they’re alone in grassy fields. They take breaks often, Akira can’t run the way he did while they were in school, back before everything got so intense, but Ryuji is more than happy to wait for him. When he recovers they’ll race to a new spot, laughing and bickering all the while. It’s starting to feel like things are normal again.

When Ryuji tackles Akira to the ground, holding himself over his body, he laughs as dead blades of grass tousle their way into Akira’s dark locks. There’s no way they’ll be able to pick them all out for now, but Ryuji promises with a whisper in his ear that he’ll be sure to help him take care of it later in the shower. Akira smirks, and he flips them like nothing, and they’re both laughing as Ryuji’s head receives a similar fate.

If they get grass stains on their clothes as Akira presses his lips to Ryuji’s, at least the laundromat is nearby.

 

On the seventh day, they spend time at the arcade.

Ryuji hasn’t gone in a while— it’s not nearly as fun without Akira around. Seeing Akira's face light up again though as they walk through the doors and are swallowed by neon lights refuels his passion for the location, and he wishes they could stay there forever.

They play games apart and separately. Akira’s terrible at most, but he does way too well at the shooters and racing games, which Ryuji feels like he should have expected. There’s a pout on his face every time he loses that makes Ryuji chuckle, but every time he wins his eyes shine with a childlike wonder that Ryuji had no idea he’s had the chance to miss. When they play together he purposely loses once or twice just to see it again, and has to pray Akira doesn’t catch on.

Their tickets only win them a stupid keychain. Akira clips it to his bag and jokingly promises that he’ll keep it forever. Ryuji hopes that he does.

 

On the tenth day, they head to the movies.

It’s something stupid, some dumb action movie that’s having a reshowing. He remembers that when they'd gone to see it months ago they'd laughed their  asses off at almost every scene on its ridiculousness alone. The dialogue is poorly scripted and cheesy and the effects are mediocre at best.

Ryuji doesn’t get why Akira wants to bother seeing it again, but as he’s pulling him towards the back of the theatre with a smirk on his face and a look in his eyes, the answer becomes a lot more clear. They don’t spend a lot of time looking at the screen during the whole two hours, and Ryuji’s never been more thankful to have an empty room around them.

 

On the eleventh evening, Ryuji invites Akira over for dinner.

He’s been to his apartment once or twice, though Ryuji never lets him over all that often. Akira’s room may be a bit shambly, but the state of his home makes him feel embarrassed and he doesn’t want it to look bad on him or his mom. He knows Akira well enough that he wouldn’t care even remotely about that, but it’s still definitely enough to make him nervous.

Akira’s never gotten to meet Ryuji’s mom before, she’s usually been away or stuck at work the few times that he’s made his way over there, and when he finally does she’s an erupted volcano of joy. She glomps onto him, short enough to where she can hang from his neck, and Ryuji is complaining and red as a beet while she and Akira laugh as though they’re old friends. When they sit for dinner she asks Akira everything about himself, and laughs at the things she already knows from Ryuji’s apparent spewing over his either best friend or boyfriend. Ryuji feels embarrassed all the while, but he’s so glad despite that. He had no doubt that she was going to love him, she did before she’d even met him.

There’s a point where she’s sliding something under the table to Akira, and Ryuji’s endlessly curious as to what it is. When they’re walking to the train he shows it to him, a picture from when he was a kid and his hair was black, completely covered with dirt, and Ryuji protests loudly and tries to grab it from the other boy’s hand while he’s shrieking with laughter as he grabs at his wrists and fights him off.

He never does get the picture back, but he does get assaulted by Akira’s lips in the dark.

 

On the sixteenth day, the whole team goes to Dome Town.

They haven’t all been able to spend time together as much as a big group, but it’s something that everyone can tell Akira is cherishing beyond belief. They ride roller coasters, see shows throughout the park, and play the dumb games that are at every turn with promises of winning huge prizes. Akira’s way too good at all of them, of course, and about twenty minutes in to going through the stalls he has a plush toy in the hands of every one of the girls, and even a stuffed lobster for Yusuke.

When he’s not looking, Ryuji tries his hand at a bottle toss game, one that has giant stuffed black cats lining the edges of the walls. He blows way too much money on it, missing on nearly every single round he attempts, but on nearly the last of his change he manages it and finally wins his prize. He likes the stuffed animal, it reminds him of Akira somehow.

When he offers it to him the girls are laughing, and Morgana is protesting it to high heavens, yelling about how he’s not about to be replaced by a dummy. Akira chuckles and takes it from him, placing a tender kiss on his cheek and laughing openly at how it makes him blush. Ryuji’s more than happy to deal with the embarrassment though, so long as he gets to have Akira’s free hand in his.

 

On the twentieth night, Akira has a nightmare.

It’s a bad one, one that has him bolting upright out of the bed and gasping for air. Ryuji’s clinging to him in his sleep when he does, so he wakes up with him, going into fight or flight mode in an instant and wrapping his arms protectively around Akira’s frame. He’s hyperventilating, eyes bugging from his head and jaw slacked open as he tries to take in every breath like it’s his last, like he’s been underwater. He’s clutching his chest and his head and his legs are pulled in so close to his body that it’s a wonder he isn’t choking himself, and all Ryuji can do is hold tightly to him and try to steady him— let the storm pass through as it does and will.

After an agonizing amount of minutes Akira’s back on the ground, but he’s crashing like a tidal wave. Sobs wrack through his body as he trembles in Ryuji’s arms. Ryuji keeps a tight hold of him and moves his hands up and down against his back, caressing him and shushing him and reminding him that the time tormenting him has passed and nothing can touch him. He’s safe here, and nothing is going to hurt him the way it did again. He’s safe, and no one will ever touch him again as long as Ryuji’s at his side, and he always will be, in one way or another. He promises him this endlessly, over and over until the shaking dies down and all he’s left with is small choking sobs.

He knows from experience that this isn’t the end; attacks like this will reoccur and sneak up when they least expect it, and sometimes Ryuji won’t be there to help. It’s a pain that sits deep in his chest as he watches Akira’s face, brushing the tears that fall from his eyes away and off of his skin, knowing that there are pains in the person he loves that he won’t be able to heal in a day. That doesn’t mean he ever plans on stopping though— he never plans on giving up on making sure that Akira’s okay. Even if he can’t always be next to him, he has every intention of making sure Akira is surviving, and _thriving_ , the way that he makes _him_ feel every single day.

When Akira’s back asleep, Ryuji looks up long distance coping mechanisms and therapists stationed in Akira’s hometown on his phone, maybe even the price to a year long rail pass. He’s not going to leave him without that being squared away.

 

On the twenty-second day, they make a trip to Akihabara.

Akira’s insistent, wanting to get some new games to take home before he has to leave. His hometown doesn’t have nearly the same kind of selection, and he can’t pass up on the opportunity to stock up on his collection. Futaba’s sent him with some money to get something she wants too, so he considers this killing two birds with one stone. Ryuji doesn’t really care about that though. He’d follow Akira to the ends of the Earth and back if he just so much as asked him.

While Akira’s paying for his finds, Ryuji spots something on the counter, one of those dumb tables full of tiny things to make you impulse shop. There’s a box full of phone charms, each wrapped in its own separate plastic packaging and stapled together with a colorful piece of logo’d cardboard. Rifling through them with just the tips of his fingers, he finds a skull charm, and one that definitely isn’t Joker’s mask but looks eerily close. Without Akira noticing he buys them, feeling almost played by the fact that he let the merchandise reel him in.

When they leave the store he offers the two to Akira. He expects him to take the masquerade looking one, but instead he reaches for the skull, takes it out of the package, and immediately hangs it off of his phone. He smiles, saying it’ll be a nice little way to always have him with him.

Ryuji never thought he would like having a dumb charm on his phone case till now.

 

On the twenty-sixth night, they lay out in the park.

The sky is too polluted with light and smog to show any real stars, but they stare up at it anyways as if it does. Akira promises him at some point that when he visits, they’ll be sure to go and see the constellations at his favorite spot. Of course Akira would have something like that, Ryuji thinks, but the promise has him more than ready to jump on a train right now and go see it for himself.

Eventually Akira tries to explain the stars to him anyways, and Ryuji’s almost completely enraptured by just how much about them he seems to know. He points out obvious ones that Ryuji can barely make out against all the fogginess in the sky, ones like the Big Dipper and Little Dipper, but he’s also pointing his finger towards ones Ryuji’s never even seen or heard of. It doesn’t really surprise him that Akira would know about things like these, he seems like he’s got knowledge about everything he talks about.

All of that belief completely goes to shit when Akira starts gesturing towards things with names that are way too familiar. It takes him a minute to realize he’s listing goddamned personas that he’d used, and Ryuji calls him out on it. He acts offended, but it’s completely fake and mocking. Ryuji shoves him and pins him down into the ground, starting a playful scuffle between them. It’s only seconds later that Ryuji’s bending down and kissing him into the grass, keeping him right where he wants him and letting both the Earth and the night sky consume them.

 

On the thirtieth night, Ryuji does way more than just kiss Akira.

It’s not like it’s new, or anything that they haven’t done before, but he plans on taking his time and relishing in the way Akira gets limper and looser with every touch he grazes across his skin. Every whimper and begging noise he makes just wrenches Ryuji’s heart a little tighter, but he plans on giving him every single thing he’s asking for, even if he wants to make sure it lasts longer than Akira wants it to.

They reach a point where Akira’s close to the edge, and Ryuji’s completely taken back by just how beautiful he looks. Even while his face is looking away, eyes teary and unfocused and expression blissed out beyond comprehension, he’s just so damn gorgeous, and Ryuji can’t help but lean close to him and tell him so, along with how lucky he is to get to love someone like him. It gets a broken pleading whine out of Akira as he starts to unravel and fall to pieces in his hands, but he has nothing to worry over, because Ryuji is there to pick him back up and put him back together. Just like he always will be.

 

On the thirty-third day, they have another team trip.

This time it’s Destiny Land again, Haru completely intent on making sure that the trip this time warrants far happier results at the end than the last did, especially considering Akira will be leaving soon and their time together won’t come nearly as easily. The group is hesitant and worries for her, but she’s insistent and everyone is easy to relent. They don’t bother closing the whole park off to themselves, but it feels like it’s only them there the whole time.

Akira spots a photobooth at one point and drags the group to it. They take a million and a half pictures there, to the point where Ryuji wonders how he doesn’t tire of it. There’s variations on every single strip, from just the boys, to just the girls, to the whole group crammed into the tiny space, to only one or two of them taking a turn. In almost all of them Akira is included somehow, and he’s emassing an entire collection of them as their escapades go on.

Ryuji eventually urges him inside with just the two of them, and they get at least one photo strip alone. In the first picture he has his arm around Akira making a peace sign while Akira makes his own. The next has them looking into one another’s eyes. The third has Ryuji cupping Akira’s face, and Akira’s hand lifting towards the camera. The final has Akira’s fingers barely grazing the lens of the camera, while their lips make contact.

 

On the thirty-fifth evening, Ryuji is in pieces.

He’s trying to hold it together, trying to make sure that he doesn’t show Akira that he’s this broken up about him leaving, but he can’t help it. He doesn’t want Akira to leave, doesn’t want the best thing that's ever happened to him in his life to be so far away from him. His hometown is miles from here. It won’t be the same as being ten minutes away by train; now he’ll have to travel much farther, ride trains for hours with plenty of transfers and stops, only to be able to see Akira for probably only one weekend a month, before he has to leave again.

Tokyo will never be the same without Akira Kurusu within its imposing walls.

It’s strange for Ryuji to be the comforted one. He’s so used to doing it for Akira lately that he doesn’t know quite how to react to it, but he lets him anyways. Lets him hold onto him and card his fingers in his hair while he sobs into his shoulder like a baby. He knows this isn’t the end of them, far from it, but god it’s going to _hurt_ with him not there.

Eventually Akira pulls away, only to lay his lips against Ryuji’s forehead and reassure him. He’s not gone forever, they’ll spend the entire summer together, and as soon as the school year’s over he’ll be right back in Shibuya where he belongs. Back with his friends, back with his _true family_.

Ryuji believes him, but he wishes he could control time. He would either go ahead and skip to the day Akira can come back, or make this moment last forever.

 

On the thirty-sixth night, Ryuji is exhausted.

The van is quiet, most of the team having already gone to sleep. He feels awful for Makoto who has to keep driving in the dead of night, but she offered to make the drive and wasn’t planning on letting up on that promise. He leans his arm up against the window, staring at the greenery that surrounds them and noting just how dark it really is out there. The countryside is way prettier than Tokyo; he needs to come out here more often just to see it, but he knows what he really wants to see is much more enticing.

He stares up at the sky, and it really strikes him just how clear the air is out here. All those stars Akira had pointed out before? He can see them so much better now than he ever could back in the city, and _god_ there is nothing more he wants to do than make them turn the car around and drive right back to Akira so he can watch them all with him again, for real this time. But instead, he just watches them on his own, letting the hum of the tires on the road be the only sound in his mind as he counts every single one of them in the sky, just to get the loneliness off of his mind.

The month was too short, and there was only so much he could do to make it feel longer. He’s hoping deep down though that if he could somehow at least make a month last a year, then just maybe a year can last only a month.

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thank you to like everyone shoving ideas into my face so I could yeet this out into the void. Also super thanks to canticle for helping me edit and letting me accept all her revisions on the back of her heels lmao.
> 
> Come scream at me on tumblr!: [MusicalDefiance](http://musicaldefiance.tumblr.com/)


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